Ten Thoughts to Ponder for the new year

Number  10 – Life is  sexually transmitted.

Number  9 – Good health  is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number  8 – Men have two  emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a  sandwich.

Number  7 – Give a person  a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and  they won’t bother you for weeks.

Number  6 – Some people  are like a Slinky…not really good for anything, but you still can’t help  but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number  5 – Health nuts  are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of  nothing.

Number  4 – All of us  could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to  criticism.

Number  3 – Why does a  slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut  saves you thirty cents?

Number  2 – In the 60’s,  people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and  people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE  NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 – We know  exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions  and millions of cows in America but we haven’t got a  clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are  located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of  immigration

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