Sugar cane juice is a refreshing, tasty juice that can be very satisfying on a hot day. I have included instructions on how to make this wonderful beverage below.
Step 1: The sugar cane stalks are delivered and left in the street. People walk over them, garbage is thrown on them, people step on them, the dirt/sludge mixture that lines the street is flicked on to them.This helps to add flavour and ensure that you have the most juice in the sugar cane.
Step 2: The juice seller comes out and strips the outer ‘bark’ off the stalk with a sharp knife, and straightens out any stalks that were crushed into the street. This ensures that customers are aware of how fresh and succulent the stalks are – we want them to know that they are getting the best. It is also a good idea to do this out in the middle of the street where potential customers can see the attention you pay to these sorts of details. This will ensure that your reputation is sustained.
Step 3: Have your partner juice seller comes out and, without warning, start pummelling a bag of ice with some sort of cudgel, half scaring the crap out of as many people as possible, and ensuring that he barely misses hitting people. This will ensure that you capture the attention of those who had not noticed your previous efforts. Additionally, ensure that you are hygienic and put a hessian sack under the ice to ensure the sludge from the road does not directly contact the ice, but rather soaks into the sack.